You Know You're TTC When...

I totally stole this, although I wish I could take credit for it because it is so funny and SO TRUE! I am the member of a WONDERFUL website(http://www.twoweekwait.com/) that acts as a support group, a sounding board, a therapist, and so much more, and this is stolen directly from their site! I just picked the ones that were most relevant to me. And I made a few changes for my non-TTC buddies reading this! Those of you who HAVEN'T struggled with TTC may not appreciate this, but please know, all of it is 100% true in my world! LOL! Enjoy!
You Know You're TTC When...

*The Big 'O' no longer refers to orgasm, but instead to ovulation.

*It no longer strikes you as the least bit odd to check out at the pharmacy with both home pregnancy tests(HPTs) AND tampons in your cart.

*You schedule your social events around your ovulation day. If your ovulation predictor kit(OPK) comes up +, you cancel all social engagements that night so you can "Baby Dance"(BD) & lie with your legs elevated and butt up in the air afterwards(for AT LEAST 30 minutes!)

*You talk using mysterious acronyms that only your TTC buddies understand: ttc, BD, ewcm, bbt, opk, 2ww(POAS, BABYDUST, AF, BFN, BFP...I could go on FOREVER! Lol!)

*Your morning motto is: "Don't talk to me until I've taken my temperature!"

*You put off buying clothes for the upcoming seasons because you're hoping they won't fit by the time the weather changes.

*The thought of nausea makes your heart skip a beat.

*You refer (and think) of your husband, not as his real name, but as the letters DH(dear husband) in real life.

Hope you all got a chuckle thinking about me being even crazier for doing all of these things! LOL! Until next time...

Ya DON'T say!!

Here's a list of things I could do without hearing EVER AGAIN!


"When are you two going to have kids?"

"What are you waiting for, you aren't getting any younger?!"

"Don't you WANT kids?"

"Just give it time!"

"Once you stop trying, it'll happen."

"Maybe it's just not your time yet."

And my PERSONAL favorite: "WOW! EVERYONE is pregnant but you!"


I'm not being a bitch, I promise! I know that not everyone knows what Kris and I are going through. But I feel like nowadays, saying things like this is kind of like asking a woman when she's due...and finding out she's not pregnant, she's just fat(yep, I've had THIS one, too!)


A lot of things suck about infertility. I cannot TELL you how horrible it feels to get on Facebook and see someone ELSE is announcing their pregnancy. Seriously...EVERY. SINGLE. TIME! I know I'm at the age to have friends getting married and having kids but DAMN! I'm happy for them(well, MOST of them) but sad for me! It's like being kicked while you're down.


The worst part of it all is the effect on our families. Most importantly, the effect on Kris. I want nothing more than to make him a daddy. And I can't help but feel moments of shame. Sometimes I wish he'd found a woman who could easily give him a baby, because he SO deserves one! And since he is an only child, I know how badly his parents want a grandchild. Kris is adopted, because his parents weren't able to conceive. And we put off telling them about our troubles...until tonight. Last time I saw his mom she patted my belly and asked, "When are you going to have a bump I can rub?" That is when I decided, it's not fair for MY parents to know what's going on, for our best friends to know what's going on, and not them. So we went to talk to them tonight. It went well. The hardest part was watching my mother-in-law tear up and say that her greatest regret was never being able to experience being pregnant, but that without that struggle, she would never have the AMAZING son she has, and I would never have my AMAZING husband! It felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders. It's out there now. And I'm telling anyone who cares(the reason for this blog!)


I don't know if anyone is reading my blog. I don't know if anyone cares. But it doesn't matter. Putting it down for the world to see is me FINALLY taking my life into my own hands and saying, ya know what? I DON'T have any reason to be ashamed! Lots of women go through fertility issues. Being open and honest is very cathartic! So bring on the questions, world...just don't EVER use any of the phrases above! :)

Oh, Clomid, You Devil In Disguise.

Clomid. The name alone sends chills down my spine. Dr. K decided that our first plan of action would be to put me on a medication called Clomid. It's supposed to help you make healthy eggs and help you to ovulate. She mentioned a SLIGHTLY increased chance of multiple births, but that didn't worry me. When you've been trying so hard for so long, you don't let the thought of a whole baseball team of kids scare you.

I started on Clomid April 2010. My dosage was 100mg daily for cycle days 3-8. This is basically to get those eggies(or "follies") growing. There were TONS of side effects I was warned about and I was a little scared, to be honest. Luckily, I didn't really experience any. On cycle day 10, I went in for an Ultrasound to see if things were brewing. I took my mom with me for moral support. Plus, she's a nurse, so she remembers to ask questions that I forget. The doctor came in and said "So, how do you feel about twins? Or TRIPLETS?" I thought I was gonna pass out! I looked at my mom and she said, "Don't look at me!" The good news was that the Clomid had worked...and worked WELL! I had 3 very beautiful, viable follies, any of which(or ALL of which) had a chance of being fertilized. Basically, she told me if the prospect of multiples didn't scare me, to go home and get to gettin! LOL! In the TTC world, getting it on is referred to as doing the "Baby Dance." So Kris and I were diligent in following doctors orders!

Ovulation kits have never worked for me. Even before I started seeing Dr. K, I could never get a positive result. I assumed I was doing it wrong. But really, how many ways ARE there to pee on a stick?! I tried them anyway, got what I thought was a positive result, then followed a strict Baby Dancing schedule(so romantic, I know!) After Ovulation is the time known as the Two Week Wait. This is the 2 weeks before your monthly visitor drops by when you obsess over every cramp, every headache, thinking everything is a sign of pregnancy. It's like waiting for an acceptance letter for college. I would go to bed CONVINCED I was pregnant, then wake up knowing there was no way! This went on for 2 weeks. Of course, the results were negative. It SUCKED!!

On to cycle 2 of the Clomid. Same dosage, but for one extra day. That alone scared me! If I could end up with the possibility of triplets after 6 days, how many could I end up with after taking it for 7 days?!? But I trudged along and waited for my monthly Ultrasound. I wasn't prepared for what the doctor told me. As she was checking me out she said, "What in the WORLD?!" For a brief, shining moment, I thought, "Oh my gosh! I took the test too soon and I AM pregnant!" Yeah, no. The Clomid had turned my body into kind of a radioactive swamp, you could say. You know how you get like fish with 7 eyes and deformed ducks and stuff? Yep, that was my body! I had at least 23 eggs that were produced due to the Clomid! And they were MASSIVE! One of them, I kid you not, measured in at a WHOPPING 5cm!! That's half of the dilation needed to deliver a baby! See example in link below to get an idea!
http://www.ahutton.com/cgw/clipart-hosp/Effacement%20&%20Dilation%20Chart%20OF-3-spanish.jpg

Needless to say, Dr. K decided Clomid wasn't going to work for us. My body just wasn't ovulating at all, which is, once again, directly linked to the PCOS. In fact, I had to go on birth control for a month to kill all of my Teenaged Mutant Ninja Follicles off! Boy did THAT suck! In my head I'm like, ok, I came to the doctor to help me get pregnant and she's putting me on THE PILL?!? But it was, of course, a necessary evil. Not to mention, I couldn't button my pants, I was so swollen!

After that we took a couple months off. Partly because of financial reasons, partly for emotional ones. We have a new plan of action. Next up is a drug called Femara. I've heard wonderful things about it, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. We go back to the doctor next month.

Somebody Get Me An Umbrella!

It sucks to be poor! We aren't living in an alley, but we are just like the average American couple working and having nothing to show for it because the majority of our income goes towards paying bills. My husband, like many others, has been laid off twice in as many years. He always lands something else soon after because, God bless him, he is the HARDEST worker I know, and employers see that in him.

When we finally began coming to terms with the fact that there was something wrong in the "Baby Making" department, we knew we were venturing into uncharted (and expensive) territory. We knew that once he found a job that offered insurance, and once it was insurance we could actually AFFORD without having to eat Ramen noodles for every meal, we would find a doctor.

In March, the insurance FINALLY came. I found a doctor (I'll refer to her as Dr. K) who I was really comfortable with and it was as if the storm clouds were finally parting to let a little sunshine through. She took one look at me and said, "You've got belly fat around your midsection...a spare tire!" Gee thanks, Doc! I know you're pointing out the obvious but you should at least take me out to lunch before an observation like that! She soon filled me in that this is a clear cut sign that there IS a reason I haven't been able to get pregnant. She diagnosed me with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS.)

I don't want to bog you down with the details of PCOS...I had never even HEARD of it before I was told that I have it. There are many different signs and symptoms with the condition, and here's a great website if you'd like to know more or think you might have the same thing: http://www.pcosupport.org/

Long story short: When it comes time for my little eggies to move on down the fallopian tube highway, they just stay there, become cysts and eventually "pop!" No eggs in the fridge, no bun in the oven! Bottom line is that PCOS is a big ole cluster of issues that are keeping me from getting pregnant. Kris had all of the *ahem* manly tests done and he's at optimal baby making level, so at least the problems only lie with me.

Dr. K said there would be several different things we would try. She said "When you get pregnant" not "If you get pregnant" which was unexpectedly emotional for me. I was ready to jump in with both feet. Then, of course, the bottom fell out again. Kris got laid off. We lost our insurance. Cue the storm clouds...

Right now we're just living month to month, in regards to EVERYTHING. So far, we've only been able to work with Dr. K for 3 months, which really sucks. I was so stoked to move forward. And it's irritating when people tell me, "Oh, once you quit trying, it'll happen!" No, it won't. I know you're trying to make me feel better but it doesn't. We are pretty much 100% guaranteed to NOT get pregnant without help. Now is just a matter of trial and error...and errors sure are EXPENSIVE!

Take Your Shoes Off, Stay Awhile...

Welcome to my second post! If you're reading this, I want to thank you for your interest in my story. I hope you'll continue to follow me and I pray that one day, I'll be able to use this blog to share the GREAT NEWS that we're expecting. Until then, I hope you'll take a few minutes to get to know me and my amazing hubby, Kris.

Like I said in my first post, I'm 25 and he's 31. We've been together for 5 years and married for 3 years in October. We have 3 fur babies: Duchess(black lab), Memo(hound/mutt), and Ollie(toy fox terrier.) We live in Ohio, but are planning on moving to North Carolina within the next 5 years. Kris is a propane delivery driver and has been a volunteer firefighter for 12 years. I'm an EMT and will be returning to school in January to become a Paramedic. I have a half brother and a half sister, 4 nieces, and 2 nephews. Kris is an only child and he was adopted as a newborn.

We have a wonderful family and wonderful friends that we CALL family! Our marriage isn't perfect. We fight over dishes and money, but never over the remote! He has more magazines in the bathroom than you could find at a news stand, and he doesn't understand why my make-up seems to multiply overnight and takes up so much shelf space(space he could be using for his growing library!) But even when we fight, we never go to bed angry, and we always say "I love you" when we hang up the phone.

Life is unpredictable. I can say that if I have my way, I will keep this amazing man for the rest of my life. I don't believe there is anything that can't be fixed when both parties are 100% committed to each other.

The Long and Winding Road

From the time I was 4 years old, I knew I wanted to be a mommy. Of course, I knew nothing about babies, just that I wanted one. When fourth grade rolled around and we had our "Birds and Bees" talk where they split the girls and boys up, I changed my mind. If that's what I had to do to get one, then count me OUT! Of course, over the years, my way of thinking changed again. My life followed the "typical" path: met THE ONE, got engaged, bought a house, got married...finally, it was time for the baby in the logical sequence of things. Unfortunately, that's where things diverge from the straight and narrow.

Hi, my name is Megan and I'm 25 years old. I met my hubby, Kris(31) in May '05 and we were engaged by October '05. We married in October '07 and began our "Happily Ever After." We immediately began trying to get pregnant. I had been on the pill for 2 years so we were prepared to not get lucky right away. What we were NOT prepared for was 3 years of trying with no success.

This blog will be to track our journey to "Chasing The Elusive Bump." Feelings, meltdowns, doctor's appointments, tests, I'm sharing it all! I will try to break up my posts as much as possible so they don't seem to run on forever. I'm new to this blogging thing, and I'm a little scared to be opening myself up and putting it all out there. But I KNOW I'm not alone, and I hope sharing my story with other women out there will be both therapeutic AND good for my Karma. Check back often, and thanks for taking this journey with me!