Don't be a Charlie Sheen!

I know I've posted before about the things people should not say to women struggling with infertility.  I thought by opening up on the topic, some of the annoying and misguided comments would die down.  Sadly, not everyone reads my blog.  I've recently been swamped with "Just relax and it'll happen" and "If you want kids, you can borrow mine" comments.  I know most people aren't that familiar with infertility, but seriously...wouldn't a sane person think those comments would be like rubbing salt into the wound of a TTCer?!

It is because of this logic (or lack thereof) that I've decided to start referring to the people who make these comments as "pulling a Charlie Sheen."  Let me put this into perspective:

Sally has a friend who has been TTC for a long time with no such luck.  Sally HAS kids, so she doesn't understand how someone has to "try" to have them.  I mean, maybe her friend is "doing it wrong."  Maybe her friend just needs to "relax, and it'll happen."  Or maybe "it isn't God's plan."  Sally thinks all these things to herself, and it should stop there.  But instead of keeping it to herself, she decides to tell her friend all of these cliche things to make her feel better.  And who knows, maybe Sally will single-handedly cure her friend's infertility problem!  So when the friend looks at Sally like she's an alien, Sally assumes her friend is just in awe of her awesomeness!

Newsflash, Sally:  Your friend thinks you're a Charlie Sheen!  You open your mouth to give stupid (although well-meaning) advice, and all your TTC friend hears is rants about Tiger Blood and fire breathing fists...oh yeah, and WINNING, DUH!  To those of us who have suffered through blood work, ultrasounds, Clomid/Femara, injections, HSGs, IUI, IVF, and more, you sound like a babbling, incoherent, crazy fool!  Yes, I'm sure this sounds harsh and it doesn't apply to everyone.  But if someone wants to talk to me about my TTC struggles, I'd appreciate it if they'd at least do their homework first.  So please, THINK before you SPEAK!  Unless you really ARE a Warlock Rock Star from Mars...don't be a Charlie Sheen!