Here's a list of things I could do without hearing EVER AGAIN!
"When are you two going to have kids?"
"What are you waiting for, you aren't getting any younger?!"
"Don't you WANT kids?"
"Just give it time!"
"Once you stop trying, it'll happen."
"Maybe it's just not your time yet."
And my PERSONAL favorite: "WOW! EVERYONE is pregnant but you!"
I'm not being a bitch, I promise! I know that not everyone knows what Kris and I are going through. But I feel like nowadays, saying things like this is kind of like asking a woman when she's due...and finding out she's not pregnant, she's just fat(yep, I've had THIS one, too!)
A lot of things suck about infertility. I cannot TELL you how horrible it feels to get on Facebook and see someone ELSE is announcing their pregnancy. Seriously...EVERY. SINGLE. TIME! I know I'm at the age to have friends getting married and having kids but DAMN! I'm happy for them(well, MOST of them) but sad for me! It's like being kicked while you're down.
The worst part of it all is the effect on our families. Most importantly, the effect on Kris. I want nothing more than to make him a daddy. And I can't help but feel moments of shame. Sometimes I wish he'd found a woman who could easily give him a baby, because he SO deserves one! And since he is an only child, I know how badly his parents want a grandchild. Kris is adopted, because his parents weren't able to conceive. And we put off telling them about our troubles...until tonight. Last time I saw his mom she patted my belly and asked, "When are you going to have a bump I can rub?" That is when I decided, it's not fair for MY parents to know what's going on, for our best friends to know what's going on, and not them. So we went to talk to them tonight. It went well. The hardest part was watching my mother-in-law tear up and say that her greatest regret was never being able to experience being pregnant, but that without that struggle, she would never have the AMAZING son she has, and I would never have my AMAZING husband! It felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders. It's out there now. And I'm telling anyone who cares(the reason for this blog!)
I don't know if anyone is reading my blog. I don't know if anyone cares. But it doesn't matter. Putting it down for the world to see is me FINALLY taking my life into my own hands and saying, ya know what? I DON'T have any reason to be ashamed! Lots of women go through fertility issues. Being open and honest is very cathartic! So bring on the questions, world...just don't EVER use any of the phrases above! :)
"When are you two going to have kids?"
"What are you waiting for, you aren't getting any younger?!"
"Don't you WANT kids?"
"Just give it time!"
"Once you stop trying, it'll happen."
"Maybe it's just not your time yet."
And my PERSONAL favorite: "WOW! EVERYONE is pregnant but you!"
I'm not being a bitch, I promise! I know that not everyone knows what Kris and I are going through. But I feel like nowadays, saying things like this is kind of like asking a woman when she's due...and finding out she's not pregnant, she's just fat(yep, I've had THIS one, too!)
A lot of things suck about infertility. I cannot TELL you how horrible it feels to get on Facebook and see someone ELSE is announcing their pregnancy. Seriously...EVERY. SINGLE. TIME! I know I'm at the age to have friends getting married and having kids but DAMN! I'm happy for them(well, MOST of them) but sad for me! It's like being kicked while you're down.
The worst part of it all is the effect on our families. Most importantly, the effect on Kris. I want nothing more than to make him a daddy. And I can't help but feel moments of shame. Sometimes I wish he'd found a woman who could easily give him a baby, because he SO deserves one! And since he is an only child, I know how badly his parents want a grandchild. Kris is adopted, because his parents weren't able to conceive. And we put off telling them about our troubles...until tonight. Last time I saw his mom she patted my belly and asked, "When are you going to have a bump I can rub?" That is when I decided, it's not fair for MY parents to know what's going on, for our best friends to know what's going on, and not them. So we went to talk to them tonight. It went well. The hardest part was watching my mother-in-law tear up and say that her greatest regret was never being able to experience being pregnant, but that without that struggle, she would never have the AMAZING son she has, and I would never have my AMAZING husband! It felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders. It's out there now. And I'm telling anyone who cares(the reason for this blog!)
I don't know if anyone is reading my blog. I don't know if anyone cares. But it doesn't matter. Putting it down for the world to see is me FINALLY taking my life into my own hands and saying, ya know what? I DON'T have any reason to be ashamed! Lots of women go through fertility issues. Being open and honest is very cathartic! So bring on the questions, world...just don't EVER use any of the phrases above! :)
It takes a lot to say "fuck it, this is me and my life". I have recently taken notice to that concept. It sucks because there aren't enough women talking about adult women issues. Everyone acts like it's impractical. The reality is, true empowerment starts with acknowledging our flaws and weaknesses. You have to start owning all of you, not just the parts that you like. Kudos to you, Megs. It takes a certain set of ovaries to step out of the closet, but someone has to let women know it's ok to be normal.
ReplyDeleteStep on, girl...Nesha